Saturday, March 13, 2010

Going for Broke

Since this is an anonymous blog, I might as well go for broke. (Unless I get a book deal or somehow get on Oprah. Should either of those events occur, I never said the following.)

My FIL is coming to town. He'll be here a few hours. Let's just say that the reason I defend(ed) Kate Gosselin so fiercely is because for my in-laws, I am Kate. I am the witchy, opinionated, unpleasant, bossy chick who mired their perfect son/brother in a life he abhors. Never mind Darling wanted babies as much as I did. Never mind Darling and I are equal partners and deliberately chose the life we lead. As far as they are concerned, he farts genius and I'm too much of a schlub to appreciate it. I obviously don't appreciate his perfection because I ask him to lift a finger to change a diaper or help with the bedtime routine when they're here.

I could use this space to go into all the vile and wrong things those people have said and done to me over the years, but I won't. FIL will be here in a few hours and if I get the list of grievances ticking in my head, the visit will turn out worse than expected.

So if anyone is out there reading this blog, please say a little prayer that I don't do or say anything that would land me on the front page of the local paper. That would fall in direct violation of my overriding mothering principle: Don't do anything that would look bad in the paper.

Amen.

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