Monday, October 11, 2010

Yet Another Suicide

Another young person has taken his life.

It's a tragedy.  I'm sorry for his family's loss.  My heart aches for them and I'm so sorry they have to pick up the pieces.  I'm sorry for the friends who will miss him and I'm sorry for all the things he'll never get to do, share, and be.  I'm sorry the world lost someone who had only begun to live.  It's a tragedy.

However...

When did the societal focus shift from teaching coping skills and asking for help to blaming society for not being appropriately warm and welcoming?  I remember a rash of suicides and attempted suicides when I was in high school.  The administration of my school took it very seriously and we had several assemblies and break-out counseling sessions to address suicide.  A decade or two ago, there wasn't a single discussion about blaming bullies, but rather how to cope with the difficulties in your own life and how to watch for the signs that alert you to an attempted suicide.  

When we did lay down the mantle of being responsible for ourselves and begin expecting the world to be nice to us?  Bullies have been around since the beginning of time.  Hey, it's not a coincidence that when someone's acting like an ass we call him a "caveman."  We aren't going to eradicate asinine behavior.  We aren't ever going to rid the world of jerks.

The only ones we can change are ourselves.  No one is ever the single Alpha all the time.  Someone who is a bully has been bullied.  Unless we're talking about lobotomizing society, it isn't going away.  Ever.

The only one who can change how things are perceived is the one who perceives them.  Why are we not focusing on how to cope with being bullied instead of blaming the bullies?  Why are we not focusing on teaching better coping skills (the world isn't going to be nice to you, so figure out how to make it work)?

And, by the way, when did "we" decide the only suicides that are newsworthy are those committed by homosexuals?  

~ G

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