Trolling for Ideas...

It would seem Darling and I have been gifted three nights alone as an anniversary gift.  Yippee!

We have a summer anniversary, so we have time to think and plan...

and save.

But.

I'm at a loss.  Truly, I think staying home in our own house, our own bed, not sharing a wall with anyone, and doing a staycation would be lovely.

We've never, ever, ever, had a night alone in our home.  Heck, we've never, ever, ever had a night away from the kids.

I almost don't even know what to do with myself.

Almost.

We want a few days of good food, good booze, no kids, no responsibilities, not a lot of nickel-and-diming in the way of tips, a quiet room, places to wander, spots around to feel secluded and not surrounded by crushing crowds, and no need to get in the car and drive anywhere.

Does such a place exist... that isn't a Caribbean all-inclusive we can't afford right now?

Help!  I'm trolling for ideas on getaway spots.

Thoughts?

Post 'em here.  Ask your friends.  Pass it around.  Share your ideas.  Links are welcome!

~ G

Joy - It Took Awhile

Friday evening I sat in this very seat, basking in the glow of my family. It was... joy. Joy. Yep. After a long week of wondering if there was something wrong with me for not flitting about with bubbles circling my head (although I'm not thrilled with the bubble idea), the work week ended with joy.

How did I get there? Well. Let's examine the week:

Big sigh.

We had to cancel plans for our anniversary trip. We had planned to spend our anniversary at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico, much like the one we enjoyed on our honeymoon. Prudence convinced me not to buy plane tickets until we took care of a few things, just in case. Well, "just in case" turned into reality and then reality turned into responsibility and responsibility turned into canceling the trip. I cried. I pouted. I was not my best self. But I didn't use money we didn't have to get what I wanted. Again, responsibility. Someday we'll go back to Mexico in real life. I say "real life" because we both visit there occasionally, if only in our minds. It's such a lovely place. Beautiful beaches. Lots of food. Lots of frosty beverages. No responsibilities. I digress...

In taking care of "reality," we depleted our resources considerably. We weren't broke, although I felt broke. Last week felt like a continual outlay of cash. Throw in another visit to the pediatrician and another certifiably sick kid and the money kept leaking out of the bank account. I'd been in the pediatrician's office with one or more sick kids every week since early March. Another sick kid meant another visit to the pharmacy. Adios, cash. Add it all up and and it was not a joy-filled week. It was a grumpy, testy, had-enough kind of week.

I kept hearing my declaration to the powers of darkness to "bring it on." Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't have done that? Maybe that was the problem? No. No. God is bigger than the boogieman. (Thank you, Veggie Tales.) I was missing something. What was it? By Friday afternoon I felt empty and worn and spiritually flattened and desperately needed my load lifted.

And then...

Friday afternoon came. With it came my darling husband who arrived home early. Not only did he arrive early, he had stopped by the store. While staying within budget, he bought tasty bits to grill. He commandeered dinner. The kids played with cheerful abandon. I sat in this very seat. I surveyed my family and felt something filling my heart that had been vacant from my heart all week: Joy.

I know it sounds trite. I don't care. I say it is true: Joy isn't in a vacation or a bank account or a weeks' break from the doctor's office or not seeing the sympathetic smile from the pharmacist who saw you just a few days ago. Joy is being with the ones you love, who love you, who don't care about unlimited margaritas or 24-hour room service or multiple digits in the savings account. Joy is simple. It is stripped of the fluff of life. And it isn't found surrounded by fuzzy bunnies, rainbows, or bubbles. Thank God.

Love - Day 1

This week focuses on "love." In all honesty, it floated around my mind yesterday, but focusing didn't happen. The plan is to get out my Bible and do some studying. I may also spend some time on Bible Gateway, reading Scripture online. Their concordance is so easy to use!

Yesterday was a day filled with ... well, maybe I did focus on love. I spent the day researching anniversary trip locations. My husband and I celebrate ten years this summer. I love that man. Where can we go where we can completely relax and not have any responsibilities? We want to eat, drink, sleep, and enjoy each other. Finding the right place at the right price takes time.

Something's been on my mind. I'm going to say something here that may be controversial and eventually get me in trouble. And I'm going to say first that I firmly believe that no one ever really knows the true state of someone's marriage. Only the couple truly know their dynamic. Okay, disclaimer stated, I want to talk about "Jon and Kate Plus 8." I loved the show until they bought the big house. I was hoping they would have a show from the house and say, "Thank you very much for blessing our family with your interest and attention and prayers. The kids are getting older and we need to honor their privacy and not do a series anymore. We'll do annual 2-hour updates, so you can see how we're doing, but we need to focus on our family now. Thank you so much for caring about us." Period. The end. Sigh. But they didn't.

I saw the season 4? 5? finale where Jon said he wasn't sure he wanted to continue with the show because it's too hard to not be "Jon" but to be "Jon and Kate Plus 8" everywhere he goes. Kate didn't seem receptive to that idea. Now, this is where I get in trouble, maybe. I firmly believe that you need to let your man be a man. I'm not talking about giving him leave to be out at all hours or to go carousing with the ladies. I mean that when your man says something honestly, from his heart, about how he wants your life together to be, you listen. You honor that. Jon used to work full time and Kate was home full time. Now Kate travels everywhere doing interviews and book signings. Jon is home with the kids. He's not thriving. Let him be a man. Give him leave to go out and get a job, to support the family. Give up the fancy travel and perks of having a show and be a family again. God gave men and women different roles. God imbued men with the desire and need to protect and support their families. When your man says he's not happy with the way things are, listen. Again, I could be completely wrong in my assessment of what I'm seeing. All I see is their body language and what I know from watching the show. Heaven help my marriage if we had cameras on us!

So, speaking of letting your man be a man and honoring him, last night mine asked me to stop researching anniversary trips and lay it down for a few days. He said it was driving me nuts (true) and we need time to talk and think (true) and then we can better isolate what we want (good point).

Huh. Maybe God has started the love lessons already this week. You know God - He's the perfect teacher.

Kindness - Day 5 - Almost-Instant Gratification

So what happened after the excitement of yesterday?

I say it all stopped, but that doesn't mean sunshine and bunnies started shooting out of my eyes. I still felt drained and utterly exhausted. My DH (dear husband) wanted to talk to me about his career and some adjustments we might need to make. At 10:30 PM. It took a great deal of self-control to not bicker and snip at him. He needed to talk, but I was fried and didn't want to pay attention. Nor did I want to care. But I do care. Very much. So I listened and we talked and as it always does, it rolled around in my head and kept me awake. Note that I practiced kindness here in a couple of ways. I listened and participated when he needed me AND I didn't punch him in the shoulder later when he was sleeping soundly and I was wound up thinking about what he shared. That was also self-control, but that's another week.

Then our little girl woke up crying at 2:10 AM. She didn't settle herself, so I got her out of bed for a cuddle. She's so funny when she's tired in the middle of the night.

"Do you want a drink?"
"Yeah" ( in a wee little girl voice)
"Okay, here's a sippy of milk for you."

She reaches up, takes it, then just holds it to her chest for a minute. No drinking. She just holds it. A minute later, she was back in bed, the sippy back in the fridge. She's out like a light and I'm wide awake, rethinking everything DH said, completely misinterpreting it because it's 2:45 in the morning. I can't watch TV because it's still broken. No book to read. No magazine to thumb through. Check email. Force myself back to bed to toss and turn again until 4:20. Such a bummer when that happens! I've always envied those who could decide to sleep and just close their eyes and conk out. Me? It takes the convergence of many forces to knock me out.

When the alarm clock bellowed this morning, my fog didn't lift much. Fatigue can do that to you. I wasn't despondent at all... just out of it.

And then the fog lifted. DH reiterated his points again. By the light of day, it made much more sense. Wish I could convince him to refrain from big conversations until morning when I can focus. Then, later, he called to confirm that he would have extra income this summer and to look for anniversary trip options. (AMEN) The repairman came and finished fixing the TV, which didn't need another expensive part after all, and the cost came it at the original, lower price. (AMEN)

What have I learned thus far? God has reminded me that He's the ultimate teacher and while I may have been trying to teach myself by seeking out the big answers to the big questions, He already had a plan for my week. This week hasn't focused on Bible study, but rather God directions. Granted, it's only Friday and Day 5 of the Kindness week. Weeks have 7 days. Two days of kindness left.

Thus far, I'm thankful for the lessons. I haven't flipped out on anyone. Yet. I'm seeing how many ways we can be kind everyday, from how we treat our loved ones, to the professionals who come to our home, to how we respond to the changes of the day.

I'm also very thankful God gave me some almost-instant gratification today by resolving a few issues. One of them is utterly selfish (anniversary trip), and I appreciate it very much. I had convinced myself it was a selfish expense and unnecessary and God was telling us that we needed to stay home. Seems the money is still there. (Thank you!) An anniversary trip isn't a done deal until we're there, but at least it's still on the table. And I'm okay with that.