Sleep... Not So Much

Well, I kinda got to sleep in this morning.  "Kinda" as in, I had to remind Darling he was getting up and I was sleeping in today.

This was after I got up to let out the dog.  And after I padded down the hall to tell the boys (who had woken up on their own at 6:30) that they needed to clean their room before playing any electronic devices.

I got back in bed and tried to not sound like a maniacal fog horn bellowing at Darling to get up because it was my turn to sleep in.

The thing is, once I'm awake, I'm awake.  Thank you, Motherhood.

So, I laid in bed, tossed and turned, could hear everything happening in the kitchen and everything happening in the family room, but felt determined to take advantage of "sleeping in."  I rested, but sleep... not so much.

It was still nice.  And the kids got some time with their daddy - who made their breakfast and watched "The Universe" with them.  Well worth it.

~ G

Some Day

Some day, some day soon, I would like to be the one who gets to sleep in and pretend I don't hear, in this order:

- the dog whining because she needs to pee after being in her crate all night

- the cats crying because they are hungry

- the boys whispering in our doorway, deciding to let us sleep (AMEN)

- the little girl asking for her morning sippy and a snuggle, and oh - a report that she wet the bed

Some day the house will be quiet and I'll remember these days with a wistful smile.  Right now I'd just like an extra hour or so of sleep.

~ G, who is The Mom

So Much for Sleeping Late

This morning was my chance to sleep late.  Never mind I heard Little One before Darling heard her, as usual.  Never mind I had to mention she's awake and he might want to get out of bed, as usual.  Those two facts alone made sleeping late a challenge, as usual.  

Darling finally rolled out of bed.  I willfully closed my eyes and slowed my breath, hoping to catch more sleep.  Seconds later, I heard Little One beating on the door.  Have I mentioned she's back in separation anxiety mode?  Yeah, this is what I heard from my bed:


>bang-bang-bang<  "M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-a-a-a-a-m-m-m-m-a-a-a-a-a-a?!" >bang-bang-bang<  


Did you catch the hiccuppy-crying quality in her voice?  How can I a) possibly sleep through such a ruckus, and b) let her suffer like that?  Little Layla Grace flashed through my head and the idea that I'd regret opening the door forced my tush out of bed.


So I opened the door.  And she ceased wailing and flung herself in my arms.  She won't always want to meld herself in my arms.  I'll catch more sleep when she's older.  So the next time you're at the park and see a worn-out woman holding a child who won't let go, yeah - that's me.  Please be kind.  I'm sleep-deprived.

Kindness - Day 5 - Almost-Instant Gratification

So what happened after the excitement of yesterday?

I say it all stopped, but that doesn't mean sunshine and bunnies started shooting out of my eyes. I still felt drained and utterly exhausted. My DH (dear husband) wanted to talk to me about his career and some adjustments we might need to make. At 10:30 PM. It took a great deal of self-control to not bicker and snip at him. He needed to talk, but I was fried and didn't want to pay attention. Nor did I want to care. But I do care. Very much. So I listened and we talked and as it always does, it rolled around in my head and kept me awake. Note that I practiced kindness here in a couple of ways. I listened and participated when he needed me AND I didn't punch him in the shoulder later when he was sleeping soundly and I was wound up thinking about what he shared. That was also self-control, but that's another week.

Then our little girl woke up crying at 2:10 AM. She didn't settle herself, so I got her out of bed for a cuddle. She's so funny when she's tired in the middle of the night.

"Do you want a drink?"
"Yeah" ( in a wee little girl voice)
"Okay, here's a sippy of milk for you."

She reaches up, takes it, then just holds it to her chest for a minute. No drinking. She just holds it. A minute later, she was back in bed, the sippy back in the fridge. She's out like a light and I'm wide awake, rethinking everything DH said, completely misinterpreting it because it's 2:45 in the morning. I can't watch TV because it's still broken. No book to read. No magazine to thumb through. Check email. Force myself back to bed to toss and turn again until 4:20. Such a bummer when that happens! I've always envied those who could decide to sleep and just close their eyes and conk out. Me? It takes the convergence of many forces to knock me out.

When the alarm clock bellowed this morning, my fog didn't lift much. Fatigue can do that to you. I wasn't despondent at all... just out of it.

And then the fog lifted. DH reiterated his points again. By the light of day, it made much more sense. Wish I could convince him to refrain from big conversations until morning when I can focus. Then, later, he called to confirm that he would have extra income this summer and to look for anniversary trip options. (AMEN) The repairman came and finished fixing the TV, which didn't need another expensive part after all, and the cost came it at the original, lower price. (AMEN)

What have I learned thus far? God has reminded me that He's the ultimate teacher and while I may have been trying to teach myself by seeking out the big answers to the big questions, He already had a plan for my week. This week hasn't focused on Bible study, but rather God directions. Granted, it's only Friday and Day 5 of the Kindness week. Weeks have 7 days. Two days of kindness left.

Thus far, I'm thankful for the lessons. I haven't flipped out on anyone. Yet. I'm seeing how many ways we can be kind everyday, from how we treat our loved ones, to the professionals who come to our home, to how we respond to the changes of the day.

I'm also very thankful God gave me some almost-instant gratification today by resolving a few issues. One of them is utterly selfish (anniversary trip), and I appreciate it very much. I had convinced myself it was a selfish expense and unnecessary and God was telling us that we needed to stay home. Seems the money is still there. (Thank you!) An anniversary trip isn't a done deal until we're there, but at least it's still on the table. And I'm okay with that.

Kindness - Day 1a

Speaking of kindness... How is it that I'm focusing on "kindness" and am worried about a friendship, but when my dear, sweet, hard-working husband asks me to come to bed and please rub his shoulders (NOT a euphemism), I stay online? Hmmm.

Methinks I have much to learn about this kindness business.

Does kindess to myself count? Does saying this is the first few minutes I've had in 9 hours to be left the freak alone mean anything?

Off to bed with me. The man's sound asleep at this point.