My Anger Issues

Me, calmly: Would you mind feeding the kids so I can finish this?

Darling: Okay.

...10 minutes later...

Me, noticing the kids are not being fed while Darling is watching TV: Would you please feed the kids while I finish this?  It has to get done.

Darling: Got it.

...15 minutes later...

Me, filthy from the job I'm working on, seeing the kids aren't getting fed: Honey, would you please feed the kids?  I can't leave this right now.

Darling: What? I don't know what they want to eat.

Me: How about grilled cheese or cereal or sandwiches?  Ask them.

Darling: I don't know what they want to eat.  What do they want to eat?  When will you be done?  Why did you even start this now when you knew they'd be hungry?

Me: I'm doing this because you asked me to get it done today.  You told me it needed to get done today and because we're trick-or-treating later, it has to get done now.  Please feed the kids.  Offer them cereal or grilled cheese or PB&J.  Please feed them.  Get them started and they can help make whatever they choose. They're hungry and starting to melt down.

Darling: What do they want to eat?  I don't know what they want to eat.

Me:  SERIOUSLY?  ASK THEM!  Give them a couple options and ASK THEM.  Feed the kids, PLEASE!

Darling: You really have anger issues.



Yeah.  I obviously have serious anger issues.

~ G

I Don't Negotiate With Terrorists

I don't negotiate with terrorists.

If you fling yourself on the floor and cry in protest...

If you whine and complain and carry on...

If you stonewall and act like the world owes you something...

If you pitch a fit because you aren't getting your way...

If I ask you to do something and you fail to do it...

If you can't seem to get along nicely with other people simply because they exist...

You are a terrorist.

I don't care if you're only 3 or 5 or 7 or 9 or 12 years old.

I will not negotiate with you.

Don't mess with me.

I have enough self-control to outlast you... and I will.

Make no mistake that you will lose your bid to control this family.

I make no apologies for doing my dead-level best to turn you into a decent human being and I am willing to go down in flames trying.

Feel free to tell your friends.

I make no apologies.

I'm a mean Mother.

~ G

Loving Attention

Darling just got home.  Late.

The boys have been waiting for him because they practice spelling words together.  Darling just walked in the door and Middle One immediately started talking about what he's wearing for Red Ribbon Week tomorrow.

Darling stood there and looked at him and gave him such loving attention that it took my breath away.

I love that man.  I love how he loves our kids.  I love that even after a long day at work, he can come in the door and even before dropping his briefcase, he can stand and listen to our son with rapt attention.

How does he do that?

~ G

Twix Issue

Let the record show that there's a whole bag of mini-Twix sitting in the Trick-or-Treat cauldron and I. have. not. had. one.

It is taking great, huge, heaving, overwhelming, breathtaking amounts of self-control to not rip into that bag and roll in it's chocolatey, crispy, caramely goodness.

Oh.  The agony.

Yes, I have a Twix issue.

I'd better start thinking of something else quickly.  Suggestions?

~ G

Not Such A Crap Mommy

Every now and then one of the kids will do something so sweet it takes my breath away.

Today, Little One walked her stuffed puppy to her bed.  She carried him and said sweet things to him as she laid him... wait, he's a her.  The puppy's a "her."  She told me that on our drive home.  So she was tucking her into bed.

I followed her silently, listening.

She repeated what she's heard me say to her over and over and over and over...

when I'm not cranky.

This is what she's heard.  This is what she is enacting.  She's remembering the sweet mommy times.  She thinks this is how a mommy behaves.

Sigh.  Relief.

Maybe I'm not such a crap mommy after all.

~ G

This WAHM Stuff

I've been a SAHM for almost ten years.  This summer I took a job that uses my skills from my pre-mom career to work part-time at home.

It has kicked my butt.

It has changed my family dynamic.  It has changed how I managed time.  It has changed my friendships.

I don't care for it, it's been a nuisance, it makes me sad, respectively.

The truth - the hard, ugly, truth is that we need the money.  We have to have the money.

I like the paychecks.  I like that I'm remembering what I did before kids and that I was kinda good at it.  I like that there's an opportunity to make it full time from home.  I like that the money for the full time position would be so much awesomer than what I make now.  Yes, I said awesomer.  It's not a word.  In case you felt the need to confer with a Dictionary.

I'm here to tell you that this WAHM stuff is hard.  It's hard.

There are a few things I have learned, though.

Excuse me.  I have to wake up the kids and get them ready for school.  I'll be back later to tell you what I learned.

Maybe I need to work on my time management...

~ G

I'm a Sucker for a Smile

Have you ever noticed how smiling at someone can lighten your day and make a grump smile back?  Little One and I were grocery shopping today.  We had made our way through the store to the toothpaste and toothbrushes.  With coupons, Crest was $0.25 a tube and toothbrushes were free.  (Amen.)

Anyway, a store employee was in front of the display with her huge cart.  Seriously, it was huge.  It was one of those ladder cart things.  It looked like fun to climb, actually.

If the boys had been with us I would have had to hold them back and threaten them with no TV for a week to keep them off it. It looked like the grocery store version of an amusement park.

She was kind of grumpy.  She asked if she was in the way and I said, laughing, "Yes!  You're totally in the way."  I smiled at her.

She laughed.  She smiled. I smiled.

When Little One and I were checking out, the employee was working as a cashier.  She caught my eye and smiled at me.

My grocery shopping day felt so much lighter - even though Little One declared, LOUDLY, in the line that she had to make pee NOW and we had to race to the potty.

*Grin* I'm a sucker for a smile.

~ G