I Want to Go to College

Little One keeps saying that.

"I want to go to college."

Correction: She does not "say" it.  She yells it.

"I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE!"

Finally, Big Kid had enough.

(I know this thanks to eavesdropping ninja-mom moves.)  Here, let me set the scene for you:

A Typical Morning in the Right Girl's Home 

Setting: The front room, the Right Girl's children put on their shoes as they ready for school.

[Mom (The Right Girl) finishes packing lunches in the kitchen around the corner.  As two of the three children begin speaking, she slides to the door with sleek, cat-like stealth to listen.]


Little One: I want to go to college.

Big Kid: You can't go to college.  I told you that you can't go to college.

Little One: No! I want to go to college!

Big Kid: You can't go to college.

Little One: NO!  I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE!

Big Kid: [Calmly, logically] That's not how it works.  First you have to go to preschool.  Then you go to Kindergarten.  Then you go to first grade, then second grade, then third grade, then fourth grade, then fifth grade, then sixth grade, then seventh grade, then eighth grade, then ninth grade, then tenth grade, then eleventh grade, then twelfth grade and then you get to go to college.  When you go to college, you go for four years.

[Little One stares at Big Kid in blank wonderment.]



Okay, I made up that last part as my position around the corner did not allow for witnessing the expression on her face when she fell silent.

The other part that fascinates me is that - and you may have guessed - Big Kid is a whole lot like his mama.  That would be me.  That boy does not have patience for nonsense.  He just does not.  At all.  Little One may well want to go to college.  I really want and expect her to go to college.  That said, little kids do not get to go to college and Big Kid has heard her say it just too many times.  Thankfully, rather than yelling I do not know where he would have heard raised voices he used his logical, most-definitely-inherited instructive voice.

Sigh.  I love my family.

~G

A Plan

Our conversation at dinner last night. (Keep in mind that Middle One is in 1st grade and Big Kid is in 3rd) :

Me: What was the best part of your day?
Middle One: Recess.  I ran around chasing girls. (laughs)
Darling: What were you going to do when you caught one?
Middle One: I don't know.
Big Kid: Well, you need to know what you're doing.
Darling: That's right, you need to have a plan. (winks at me)

~ G

My Own Beverly Clearly Moment

Little One enjoys a fresh box of crayons with the same abandon Ramona enjoys the first bite of an apple.  Let's just say Middle One and Big Kid have had their school supplies "tested."

~ G

A Parent's Perception of Perfection

I've been thinking lately about how we set our minds in terms of how we see our children.  Parents, you know what I mean.  We have a "creative" or an "energetic" or a "happy" or a "grumpy" child, right?  We all assign some kind of label to our kids, usually from years of experience with said child.  

This is on my mind today because I have a friend who swears her child would "never do anything to hurt someone's feelings."  Really?  This statement came after her child played at our house and I watched him deliberately tell Middle One he couldn't play with him and Big Kid.  Middle One got tears in his eyes because he wanted to play and begged to participate.  Guest child refused and told him he didn't know how to play "right."

At that point, I intervened and made it clear that in our house we are kind to one another and if we can't be kind, guests go home early.  That settled it rather quickly and all three boys went off to play.

So, when my friend said her child would never do anything to hurt anyone's feelings, I knew for a fact that she was wrong.  Is she delusional or is she blinded to her child's faults or does he have a dark side she doesn't get to see or was her son just trying on his big boy attitude at my house?  I don't know.  I do know that because she doesn't see it as an issue in her son, she likely doesn't feel the need to work to instill in him kindness and consideration for others.

I also know it reminds me to be careful when I declare things about my children.  They're kids.  They're learning about the world and who they are.  Between now (before now?) and the day they leave this earth, they will try on new ideas, experiment with new thoughts, and do things I never thought possible for them.  

Heck, on my wedding day, my mom said to my cousin that she'd "never seen [me] like that."  I was very serious and very focused and thinking very much that I was making a very permanent choice and the weight of that very important decision grounded me like nothing before.  Even my own mother had never seen me like that.  

If my mom, who knew my personality better than anyone and who had watched me closely for 20 some-odd years, saw something new about me on my wedding day, chances are good that as mothers of young children we don't know everything about our children's personalities.  

Maybe we should be open to that and not box our kids in with what we think we know about them?  What lessons are we omitting because we're sure our child will never cheat or lie or be ugly to someone?  Being blinded by our perceptions of our child's perfection doesn't help them.  I'm just sayin'.