Thursday, August 12, 2010

Here's Your Baby, That'll Be A Set of Jewels

I take offense to "Push Presents."  They seem crass to me.  The name alone implies that the woman is owed payment.  Well, excuse me, but didn't they make that baby together?  Was she strong-armed into having a baby and now he must make amends to her?  Has he been such an ass the whole pregnancy that the very least he can do is dangle some materialistic bauble in front of her as some form of payback for her hard work?

The whole concept fills my head with the image of a petulant Scarlett reclining in her bed while Rhett swoops into the room and claims the baby as his, declaring he will spoil his daughter as he sees fit.  It's very territorial and not even partially romantic - not to mention void of any sense of parenting as partners.  It's the King presenting his not-really-beloved Queen compensation for presenting him with an heir.  Ick.

Frankly, had my husband given me a "Push Present," I would have been deeply offended.  We actually talked about it with each child - and we have three children that I pushed out without any pain meds at all, whatsoever.   I said it then and I say it now that a "Push Present" would make me feel as if I had performed a service for him, that I was merely the vessel to carry his spawn and deliver it to him as a courier would deliver a package.  I felt then, as I feel now, that we chose to make our baby to add to our family.

Maybe I'm just testy after listening to my friend carry on about possible (very expensive) options for her "Push Present."  She and her husband are expecting their first child.  She reminds me of a greedy 8 year-old gunning for the best-ever Christmas gift.  I find it nauseating and frustrating.

I have other friends and several relatives who received "Push Presents."  With only one exception, every last one of them behaved as if she were owed something.  The one exception asked for a very sentimental accent to a very sentimental article.  Somehow that seems different than getting a personal trainer or a set of rubies or a pricey weekend out-of-town with girlfriends or a new car.  Where the hell do these people get that extra money, anyway?  Intentionally acquiring something so singularly personal seems emblematic of a very selfish nature.  Why the hell am I hanging with such selfish chicks, anyway - except family, no choice there.

Maybe it's just me for thinking the baby is the gift.  Maybe it's just me thinking that adding to our family is gift enough.  Maybe I'm just simple for assuming that my husband also had a long nine months with my mood swings, baby health scares, worrisome visits to specialists, bed rest, and did I mention moodiness?  Actually, it was more than nine months when counting the emotional months of trying to conceive.  Why on earth does he owe me a gift (from our money, by the way) for the culmination of our journey.  I wanted the baby, too.  Maybe I would feel differently if these women didn't plot their acquisitions, but were merely surprised by something sweet and sentimental?

I don't know.  Maybe I'm too simple to understand.  Judgmental rant over.  Carry on.

~ G

1 comment:

  1. Now that I've added you to my RSS feed (why the heck I didn't do that before, I don't know. . . I can only blame pregnancy brain), I am catching up on your writings. :o) While the concept of "Push Presents" is odd, at best, I love presents too much to be offended at receiving one. Having said that, a push present wasn't even anywhere on our radar for any of our children. Like I said, it seems rather, umm, odd.



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